It’s waking up, again. That desire to love, to love anyone, everyone. It’s flying in circles inside me, and with each circle its desire grows, and so does its desperation. Trapped inside with nowhere to go, it’s throwing itself against the walls, it’s howling and thrashing, shaking me from the inside. It’s hopeful and sad and lost, enthusiastic, wild, and it just doesn’t understand why it can’t be free. It is in pain, and I am in pain too.
Hush, there is no one to go to for now. Wait up. Your day will come, calm down. Stay.
I lay on my bed and close my eyes. It feels my hand on my chest and it’s a meager comfort, but still… It’s a touch. At least it’s warm and tender. I caress a path, from my neck to my ribs, my belly, my hips and I can feel that desire calming down. At last. Some love. I reach down, breathing deeper. At first I caress myself gently, tenderly, but then my desire decides to picture her, her-anyone, just an her to love and care for and my touch grows firmer, my movements are getting stronger as my desire and I imagine someone we could offer ourselves to, as we create someone to love even for a few minutes…
DIzzy, still, a bit breathless, I wrap myself around my desire, in this warm cocoon of love in a loop as she slowly fades away. We’re finally at peace, somewhat.
Sometimes it’s not about sex. It’s not always about lust. Sometimes it’s as simple as taming a wild animal, whose love gets so overwhelming it is hurting itself.
shower vision 3
Few months ago
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Ti sento più di prima.